Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Alfresco Toiletting

What started off as a teeny tiny moan about my inability to nip for a quick alfresco pee without having one 'excitement' or near nettle experience has turned into a blog that makes me gurn in the same way as being faced with a smiling older man with an equally old staffie whilst pulling your pants up.

First I looked up the dangers of alfresco toiletting......

Check out this poor guy watching an elk calf then finding himself a target of a near bear attack ( I wanted to put bare there but maybe I was thinking of something else).


Then you have the problems of near death experiences whilst on board boats, who knew there was an etiquette and safety protocol for alfresco toiletting on boats?!

Here is an excerpt:

Following on from the "Toilet technique" thread, in which many advocated peeing over the side, this reminded me of the demise of a friend, who sadly went overboard off South Africa a few years ago, never to be seen again. He was taking a leak off the stern of his Moody 38 & when eventually the crew managed to get back, they were unable to find him.

Wonder, how common, is it, for men (usually), to fall overboard, whilst having the most basic of bodily functions?

Very common. It's called 'Fly open syndrome' by the USCG as the trouser flies are open when the body is recovered. I think the Canadian Red Cross says it accounts for 10% of all water connected deaths and the state of Washington has banned men from urinating over the side to try and cut deaths.

I even found a term I shall be using in the future:
“shake the dew off your lily”
Now I am getting serious......this kind of stuff breaks my heart.  I LOVE to see my guys and gals scratting like good'uns after toiletting to me it means they are feeling well, showing( advertising) off how healthy they are and I simply wouldn't stop it.  Mind with Flute and Tips you have to fear for your eyes and keep your mouth shut when they scrat because they aim to chuck the earth as far as possible!  
This is an excerpt from Cesar Milan sigh:
My dogs have never marked, and I have had many dogs throughout my life. If I have a dog from the time he’s a pup I do not let him mark. Not ever. I teach him to go to the bathroom on command and to eliminate completely in one or two goes. In fact some of my male dogs never cock their legs but urinate as a female would, by squatting. I have to add that because I occasionally breed them and produce a litter, they are not neutered.
I do believe that in some instances a marking dog is one that really lacks confidence and is attempting to say, “this is my territory – please keep away, I don’t want confrontation.” In other instances there is the dominant dog that says, “this is my territory and if you don’t want trouble then keep out of it.” And of course there are the ones where the owners have encouraged or allowed them to mark simply because they felt that is what dogs do.
I watch a dog and note the body posture, the tail, the stiffness of the back, the head position, and try to determine what the marking may be. In some it is definitely dominance – “I am here and letting you know.” With others it appears to be almost friendly – “Oh that smells nice; I think I will leave them a message.” Kind of like the Facebook for dogs!
What can be concerning is when the dog that begins to kick back with his hind legs after defecating or urinating. This is what I call “spreading the word.” A dog has scent glands between his paw pads and it is thought that in this way he is spreading his scent even more. As with marking, I dislike and don’t allow this behavior. For me it is a sign of dominance, an indication that this dog wants to be leader of the pack, and sees himself as independent with a will of his own. I have seen this mostly with the northern breeds. Nearer to the wild dog genetically maybe?
In most instances marking occurs because of lack of training, leadership and the development of good habits. Without realizing it, owners often place their dogs in leadership positions. The dog then believes he has to establish a territory and show he is the protector of all within it. This may go as far as marking in the house on personal belongings, even the owner’s bed. Once a dog has left a mark of territorial scent, you will find when he revisits the place he is almost “triggered” to mark again – an almost involuntary response to the smell. Then he gets into even more trouble than he was in before, which results in confusion in the dog and anger in the owner – energy that is anything but calm and assertive.

Shoot me now......
I admire the guy for sticking to what he believes in but that is it I can't admire him for much else.

So just as I don't like to end a session on a bad note with the puplets I shall end this blog with a funny little ditty from Robin Williams....love it.

I shall be getting back to strictly indoor toiletting from now on!

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