Friday, 12 April 2013

I feel cheated

My Smartie egg had no smarties in it.

There is something so very wrong with that and I feel cheated.

My hound ran away today, he didn't even deem it necessary to go faster than a damned trot.  It is just not right that I can train and have trained many many dogs and my dog laughs at my efforts.  Oh I can see it happening, the scenario unfolding and we play the roles perfectly.  It's not good for my inner peace.

I feel cheated cos they are meant to be a delight, to take away all your stresses.  A pal by your side that never judges you, always loves you and makes you a better human.  When in that lovely set up does it say it can turn you into a profanity spouting, neurotic inducing idiot?  When?

He trots, he sniffs stopping occasionally for a pee and a good old scrat just to show everone he the man.  I follow in the jeep resisting the bad voices in my head.  I stop he stops bemused by this new development, he has never been followed in a jeep before how terribly exciting.  I step out and at least find myself not weedling or screeching like a fish wife.

I use a useful trick to entice him toward me, a world of adrenalin inducing trip that only a frisbee/ ball or rabbit can produce and don't i just go and  fall at the last hurdle.  He came, wary about losing the freedom that drives his legs onward he even sits when I ask him and I throw it just far enough to catch him not the frisbee and I failed utterly oh I caught him but I shan't tomorrow I just set it up so I wouldn't.I put him in the jeep containing the rage, the disappointment that even overrides the smartie free smartie egg.  Why oh why didn't I throw the frisbee and play the game....give him the good feeling about being with me instead of giving him the feeling of being tricked and put into the jeep?

I am a muppet.

Should know better.

Do know better.

But hey I got the dog!

It isn't just me that inwardly groans at the thought of walking the dog.  You see all those perfect dogs walking with adoring eyes barely leaving the side of the owner that has all the answers....humph say I! I can't be the only one.

Bloody bugger.

It isn't all bad.  My other dog was very good today, he was funny giddy and everything it says on the tin/ breed standard.

And I have a rather large Galaxy Egg with my name on it so be gone you worthless Smartie egg.

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