Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Today

Today I can breathe.

Maybe I have unknowingly taken stock, or maybe I have had a moment or two to reflect, either way I fit into my life.

I remember so well the heaviness that comes with day in day out having to function without fitting into your life.  A job that is merely a job, people who make you invent new ways to torturing humans, if only in your mind and the relentlessness of a routine you don't know how you got into.

I wouldn't take stock then if I had I feared all would come crashing down.

Now I feel no heaviness, room to breathe, people who I admire and most days actually quite like.  The dogs forcefully remind me what life really is about if I take their advice.  The horses remind me how life is about graft and how tentative life is.

There was a sign yesterday placed on a bridge where people sometimes find their off switch.  And I sighed with relief that that sign isn't for me and just hope it isn't for all I know.

The hard work has been worth it and is still ever present.  My self worth is still tentative but there grimly holding on and I am proud to have knuckled down and followed a path I chose and even created a path for some to follow.

Anyway I can feel the cinnamon danish pastry glow slowly fading and it is time to walk these daft dogs.

My love and thoughts are with a special family who need all the healings thoughts we can muster.

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