Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Blog doldrums

I have decided I need a secretary, chef( mmm kind of have one of those already), a driver  ( I have decided I do not like driving after last weeks transport delights) and PA!

Doing my own website seemed a great idea until I fail miserably and take four days and over twelve hours to do a job that should take a couple of hours.  A blog is a great idea to keep everyone in touch until Facebook comes along and you have access to a lazy mans way of communicating.  Doing your own van livery gives you so much freedom if you have the time to do something with the photos you ( and Chamfron photos of course) planned and took!

I wonder if I continue to go so slow that I will go backwards enough to meet myself at the other end?

So I am going to continue my theme of this blog post.  Last week was a bad bad week, it would have bypassed the naughty tree and gone straight home.

Monday started well until I loaded the horses and my mare sank gracefully through the floor that had been professionally checked.  The rest of the day was running around trying to sort the trailer and of course drowning myself whilst supposedly washing the trailer!

Tues and wednesday were those nondescript days that match the current weather. I decided it was a great idea to update my website and managed to lose a photo everytime I loaded a new one only it took me ten hours to work it out....

Thursday, where do I start?  You know things are bad when you get a phonecall first thing.....so with dread I answered the phone and yup bad news....poor Alex had been badly bitten by a dog she was seeing too.  A diabetic dog she had recently done injections for whilst his mum was away decided he no longer required her assistance and bit her before he even saw the needle... So I rearranged the dogs told her to get to mams and headed straight there....I did notice Sam seemed a little taken aback when I changed dog pick ups around but didn't realise I had just woken her up her first sleep in haha.

After mam gave Alex first aid I whizzed over sorted feisty fido re injection and took Alex for her own injection!  Once dressed and sorted I dropped her back off with a big hug or three and started picking up the dogs.  This is where the field comes into its own as we could go straight there.  Walks were done and we headed off for lunch and make new arrangements for Feisty Fido.

Then I got a phonecall, whilst trying to magically undo all errors on the website, to say the weather was unbelievable up in hexham and it looked to be on its way just as I was finishing off Sam rang to say trouble was indeed on its way!  Oh it was definitely trouble.

With the dogs in the van we set off to be met by torrential storms, thunder and lightning and even worse random drivers!  The first road closure was at the bottom of Grange Villa luckily with careful manoeuvres I managed to get through the deep puddle and off we went to drop of Fluffyfeet.  We we re drenched just walking from the cages to the back door but he was home safe so off we went to the next drop off.  Now things did get exciting.....I am certainly a dab hand at driving on pavements now!  The bank heading up to Stanley had bits of the road that had come away and the smell was unbelievable mind the dogs enjoyed that part as the sewage swept down the hill.  Going across the tops was our scariest moments as the lightning and thunder was coming at the same time and at one point as we headed toward a huge puddle the lightning split above our heads and came down in two forks on either side of the van...my hair was standing on end.

By now poor Lola, Louie and Truffle were distraught and even with me singing at the top of my lungs( maybe that was what was distressing them come to think of it!) and at one point I had to move Lola in back cage so she could hide under Mila's large boobies. Even on our highest windscreen wiper speed we still couldn't see what we were doing but in time we managed to get to Sunniside more blockages but again thanks to Izzy super transit we managed to persuade the police to let us pass and the whickham dogs were dropped off.  Lola had her face wiped and a big cuddle after being sick and I was grateful most owners got back in time to have supervise their worried dogs.

The next part was a delight and I ended up turning round six times trying to find a way home one of the times was certainly interesting as I watched a car gracefully float past us.....urm yup definitely too deep even for us!

By now I wasn't the only one feeling our own water pressures so I pulled the van up onto the embankment (we were going anywhere and had sat in the same place for twenty plus minutes)I one by one got the remaining guys out for a tootle and a wee and tried not to embarrass myself in front of all those stationary cars....Mila and Charlie thought it was a hoot to be walking on a A road embankment and I certainly entertained everyone for a little while especially as Mila and Leyla went out together and started playfighting ( Mila is a ST Bernard and Leyla a pug).  Certainly the weirdest place I have walked the dogs!

In time I managed to dodge the fire engines, police, ambulances and other drivers and dropped the last dog off who happened to be the first picked up a full 13 hours after I had picked them up!  Phew all safe all I had to do was get home.  Northumberland was certainly less affected than Gateshead and Newcastle and I managed to get home safely.  In fact you could barely tell what had hit but it was interesting to see the hares and roe deer all out in the open obviously enjoying the lack of rain, I dread to think how many young animals drowned in the downpour.

As a treat we headed to Morpeth the following day allowing me a bit art research and pick up some bits and bobs.  If only we knew!  After a good luck around we headed back for my appointment and we started the car...nothing.  Zilch.  I looked at Mr grumps and giggled.  He tried again and the realisation hit we were stuck.  So I phoned the AA to find they had a five hour delay due to all the drowned cars needing rescue.  Oh deep joy and as I looked at Mr Grumps I realised there would be another trauma ahead of me if I didn't get rid of Mr Grumps!  Once phonecall to the other emergency service ( parents) and I was at least relieved I wouldn't be stuck in a car for five hours with a black cloud.  Soon they arrived to take Mr G home to see to our guys at home and I waited and waited.  2pm turned into 5pm and still nothing.  5pm turned into 7pm we knew the problem but no knight in shining armour.  Sigh.  Finally at 8.45pm those glorious yellow flashing lights came and I was rescued by a fruit and veg man.

I was beyond worry as the fruit and veg man explained they were so busy he had offered to help and I would have to bare with him as he worked out the winch etc I had to say I was relieved when he worked out how to stop and hold us up whilst on the flat bed as I had no urge to slide off backwards with no brakes!

People are funny aren't they as they tell you their lives and problems. As we hammered along ( the words 'keep an eye on your car missus you just never know when I tie the straps' ringing in my ears) he told me how his two females friends scared the bejesus out of him as one was so bossy and just told him what to do and the other used her child and need for money as a bargaining device whilst his wife thought they were lovely...he'd never sleep with them you know cos they'd eat him alive!

I had a quick lesson in fruit and veg box preferences and then finally he asked me where we were going....just as well he had been heading the right direction I just presumed he knew!

Eight hours later I headed home with Mr Grumps and was met by four enthusiastic dogs looking forward to their evening walk ....I had bad thoughts about missing their walk out entirely luckily my butt reminded me it had been over used so my legs took over and off we went!  Upon opening the door to my neighbours house ( they needed their pooches let out) I was met by liquid poop blurgh.  Roxy had obviously found Mr Grumps too exciting and instead of toiletting on the walk had held it in ...until now.

So that was my pants week.  Nothing disastrous( apart from Alex's bite) just tiring, irritating and tedious!

I feel for the likes of Justine who had her salon and all its contents wrecked by the flood, to anyone who had their homes flooded and any animals who lost their lives in the storm....Mother Nature occasionally has to remind us what she is capable of....

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