Thursday, 10 May 2012

I am in the mood for a blog

Oh I am in the mood for a blog now.

Why is it when my parents go away we have drama?  When they stayed away for six weeks we had our first ever earth quake( statue fell in pond thankfully fish smart enough to swim away, ornaments smashed and scattered around the room) , we had a random cat come in spray the house and then horror of horrors nearly get eaten by our cat friendly dogs....Dad and Mam's two dogs love cats but took exception to this one and not only plucked it of the odd hair( or maybe that was my parent's cat) they then proceeded to despatch the cat flap with enthusiasm after it had sensibly shot through!

Then we have the big fish rescue when the water dropped dramatically in the pond when the filter decided to limp merrily toward death....some of the koi are forty year old they were not going to die on my watch so I duly became water filter repairwoman.  So this leads me to the baltic state of affairs.

The new boiler has decided to also take a holiday.  Despite being witness to many a water emergency and usually emerging from the otherside a lot better off I am not a natural plummer.  I quickly established I didn't have a clue what was wrong and had to resort to the last ditch the blasted machines destructions.  This made it perfectly clear that I still didn't have a clue what I was doing when I noticed the pressure was too low so I started the inevitable hunt the torch...Mobile phone app torch at the ready ( how did we cope LBM:  Life before mobile?)I then remembered you NEVER go in the loft without locking Bouvier the step climbing cat out of the hall.  Argh so I whizz down hunt her down and gently pop her in lounge and whizzed back up the loft moby torch at the ready.

Then I had a flash of something and remembered you had to increase pressure by adding more cold water.....I felt like a bomb disposal trainee, would that lever be for cold water or was that the one for the gas.......

I have decided after that spectacular plumb job my middle name shall be Corgi and I do like big ears so that suits me just fine.....Calamity Caroline Corgi Howlett has a certain ring eh?

Then we have the doddery lovely old cat called Charlie.  Charlie has been sent to me as payback in advance ( mam is already traumatised at the idea of Shy dying whilst I am on holiday and she is looking after him).  Charlie is my parents much loved drama cat who has advanced kidney disease and now a limp.  Yesterday it was a limp today he has three legs.  So a plan was hatched to catch him indoors and take a trip to the vet.  Now everyone who has cats knows how traumatic this is.  There's the bone chilling yowling, the extra leg they acquire whilst trying to put them in the, seemingly femur, cat container and the inevitable sweet sickly smell that comes around the same time as the sense of dread as the kitty looses control of his bladder.

Now I decided to bypass the cat container and whipped him into a bundle with a big bath towel and before we knew how easy that had been we were in the vehicle on the way to the vet.  My senses were alert to the dreaded smell that usually accompanies a car trip and we managed to get to the vet before any accidents...hurrah. Did I mention I was in a borrowed vehicle?  The cat aroma is known for its longevity not for its popularity!

Once he was sent out with a satchel of opiates, magic kitty cure all food and I was sent out with a hollow purse we headed home.....another resounding success in the wee stakes.  We were greeted with a warm blast as we opened the door to home and we both smiled at each other with relief!

As Charlie slips into a comfortable haze with his painkiller I am starting to feel sleepy in the warmth!  Now it is time to check the summerhouse ( has a leak and has lots of vulnerable much loved seedlings in there relying on my non existent expertise) feed the koi ( chips anyone?) and then it is time for coffee and nutella for me!

Phew I just love it when mam and dad have a holiday.....

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