Tuesday, 17 May 2011

It has been a long day.

I know I have a fantastic job/ life/ career BUT let me have this one long moan or rant. Ask Sam, we do have an occasional moan and I love nothing better than Sam ranting as long as it isn't about me.

It started off so innocently Tuesday doesn't sound particularly threatening or dramatic does it? Now I don't want you to get the wrong idea nowt terrible really happened it was just one of them days...and continues as I write this blog.

My mam's cat Charlie hasn't been well of late and as you can imagine he is a much loved member of the family, he does think he is more than a mere member of the family but hey ho I can live with that. Charlie was booked in at the vets for 9am ready for a scan and a broken tooth removed, soon after I also had to drop the St Bernard's off for their three weekly groom.

I generally start off pretty early as I live where many sheep graze and nowt much else but with what I had booked in I started even earlier. Driving along with my plan ticking away in my mind I couldn't swerve in time to miss the pigeon, luckily he seems to glance off the wing mirror or at least I desperately tried to hope that was the case.

Soon I was picking up bleary eyes dogs ready for their exciting day with the petnans. It wasn't long before I could hear a strange noise .....ripping? Ripping argh! As soon as I could I stopped and smelt that unwelcome acrid smell of pee...great so maimed pigeon, ripped bedding and a weeing session. Little Make me weep Willow was deeply ingrossed in her despatching and 'take that you rotten scoundrel' peeing move she seemed a little taken aback when she was unceremouniously moved to the top cage without her new foe. Poor Izzo was distraight at such wanton distruction and was panting desperatley. I tried to reassure him that it was no biggy and off we set again.

Tips obviousy has a thing about early mornings and roundabouts, put those two things together and you are sure to induce some lovely and not well received womiting moments. So I approached the third roundabout with trepidation. My fears were well founded and I struggled to blank out the sight of my beautiful boy throwing up on my front seat only just missing the gear stick...nice.

The clean up stop went without a hitch with a clean cloth replacing the now messy cloth and off we went....safe in the knowledge he was unlikely to throw up again.

I was still just about on time so I continued on my daily ritual of pick ups, the dogs less bleary eyed and ready for what the day may bring. Soon I was pulling up to my mams house and Charlie was packed and all ready to go ....how did I forget that when Tips gets car sick he also desperatley needs the toilet and I was greeted with the unnerving sight of Tips trying to squat....Arghhhh

I ran cat basket in hand trying not to swing my precious cargo....Out flew Tips relief all over his face and all over mine too only to find he couldn't perform under pressure....what to do? I walked, we stood, I tried to think of noises that might stimulate his bottom into to action but I failed and soon we were back in the van. Tips looking slightly bewildered, me sweating slightly and Charlie yowelling for all he was worth.

Peace resumed for those two long miles and we arrived on time( how on earth?!) to hand the little darling over. Right now for the groomed which was only a mile away, yeh!

Without the yowelling I started to notice Izzo had continued to pant and I started to worry, surely even a sensitive staffie wouldn't still be upset at the pups free for all?

We arrived at the groomers and I quickly let Izzo out trying to jolly him out of his anxiety....as I walked around to take Mila and Belle out of the van I smiled as sweetly as I could at the traffic warden. He stood watching me right next to the van, now I was in a loading bay but I knew they were happy to let me drop the guys off and pick up from here so I continued until I heard a funny noise then it hit me, or rather it hit the traffic warden, the wall and the pavement. Uh oh I turned and looked at Izzo then slowly at the wall my eyes tracking the trail of....destruction only to find the trail continued up a certain persons trousers.....our eys met and still not a word passed between us. I couldn't read his thoughts though I could guess them.

On the plus side Izzo was much brighter! Oh praise be for showers in our vans....how do I do this do I wash the guys trousers down whilst doing the other surfaces or do I blatantly ignore what had happened to him and wash everything else? He barely moved his eyes and many others seemed to be bearing into my skull as I washed the pavement as best I could before sprinkling some lovely flowershop zoflora down, there no harm done eh, ahem.

By this time he was checking his watch albeit from a spot slightly further back. I grabbed the girls and leaky bum to let the groomer know so she could decide what to do. I shouted back that I wouldn't be long and if he gave me a ticket I would use it for a rather unpleasant use...he didn't laugh. As I handed the dogs over the groomer kindly asked me if I had been running, urm no I said I just felt a little underpressure.

Once that was all done I stepped outside and froze.

That familiar hot feeling was creaping up, my face started to go puce and my scalp started to crawl......I was greeted with the sight of a half pigeon wing attached to my wingmirror. Oh no so not only am I a bird murderer I had also just advertised the fact to all and sundry most of whom had also seen the pebbledashing of the local environment and environmental enforcer. Well I guess I could be grateful I didn't have a ticket.

As my real day started things started to improve, the dogs were so funny playing out their little games and dramas to an appreciative crowd. I could feel the calmness descent and this feeling continued once I heard Charlie had come out of the operation jst fine with nothing too bad to deal with for now.

It wasn't until much later that my day followed its previous thread. I arrived ready to drop off Charlie and Willow who had redeemed herself on the walk. I opened the door let Charlie out and went to the back opened the door and looked in horror as there was no Willow. Stop and think I told myself! My mind raced could I have put Lola and Poppy in and thought that was Willow surely not...I checked all the cages she definitely wasn't there and just in case decided to look in the middle from where Charlie had come from...and there she was sitting like a treasure in the cage I don't have in my van. Only I was in Sam's van, Lily which sports an extra upstairs cage. Argh I need a whisky even though I don't drink whisky.

With nerves jangling I headed back to drop off the other guys only to find my slightly earlier drop off had caught out the one and only customer who I don't have a gate key for and they weren't there. I changed my route only to find they still weren't back. My face was starting to burn as the appointment to pick Charlie was fast approaching but luckily as I poppe dmy van into reverse they arrived.

So now I sit listening to the not so gentle yowelling, wailing and scratching of a bewildered old moggy who's whole life has been turned upside down( he is a dramatic cat at the best of times) and the gentle sighing of two lovely petsitting dogs who are being subjected to not only a cat wailing but now Flute. Why is Flute wailing? Now that will be because a certain little womiting wassick doesn't want to share the cage with a big dope of a brother.

So don't tell me tomorrow that you want my job, that I look tired or that I am lucky cos whilst it may all be true I have a feeling I may not be feeling the love.

So now I am heading off to bed for the fourth time in the vain hope that my brain will shut down and the ear plugs will stay in place and then if all else fails I wonder if my mam will notice a big ginger cat mark alongside an indentation of a dog on her beautiful white bed covers?!

Night night

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